MLE

 

Joey Chestnut Sets New Taco-Eating Record!
5/7/2017

There is a new World Taco-Eating Record and it is this: 126 tacos in eight minutes. The record was set at the Mystic Lake Casino Hotel World Taco Eating Championship by none other than Joey Chestnutóthe #1-ranked eater in the world, the greatest eater of all time, the reigning hot dog eating champion of the world, et al. The feat chalks up world record number 41 for Chestnut, which is a world record of the most number of world records currently held.

For the curious types among you, which is to say all of you, the tacos utilized in sanctioned MLE events are a traditional-style soft taco, comprised of a three-inch tortilla, with beef and pico de gallo. They weigh two ounces a piece.

Letís do some math then, shall we. Chestnut ate 126 two-ounce tacos in eight minutes. Thatís two times 126, which is a lot, which divided by 16 ounces to a pound, is 15.75lb of taco deliciousness in eight minutes, which is just shy of two pounds of taco a minute. So, thatís how science works, okay. America, donít be shy of a little number work now and then. We can not allow this great republic to backslide into scientific and engineering irrelevance while the likes of Finland (really?) and Estonia ascend the ranks of excellence. We are better than that.

Sorry, letís get back to the business at hand: American exceptionalism.

Chestnut remarked to MLE officials before the event that he felt confident of winning and besting the previous record of 103 tacos in eight minutes. He was true to his word, exploding at the outset of the contest and never letting a pause break his stride, save for an unfortunate cough at the three-minute mark. He commanded the contest and never let the field enjoy a look in at the top spot. Sudo, Oji and Morgan battled hardest, all logging totals in the 90s, a true reflection of the parity in our league among the top-10 eaters. An error in judging by the contest emcee, who shall remain nameless for his sins, initially failed to count one of Ojiís trays of tacos and announced Sudo as the second-place finisher. He was wrong. It was Oji who ate 97 tacosónot 77 tacosówho finished second. Sudo was classy and understanding in the post-contest demotion from silver to bronze. So too was Adrian Morgan, who descended from third to fourth. The results below are accurate and final.

Many thanks to all at the beautiful Mystic Lake Casino Hotel for a memorable Cinco de Mayo. We can think of no better way to celebrate the Mexican Army's victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla.